Love Disease.
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Dreams. Reality.
Thursday, January 16, 2014 | Thursday, January 16, 2014 | 0 comments

Lately, I've been pretty unpredictable. I could sleep for few days. And might be sleepless too. Nights went away with cursed memory. Is it me who had been too backward or the years that fly so fast?

In some points, I couldn't describe what are the differences between the dreams and reality. It might be said that I live like I'm dreaming and I sleep like I'm awake.

Ada satu rasa, I don't wanna take any blame anymore. It's not my intention for waking up everyday w regrets. Bukan nak cakap aku yg betul, kau yg salah. Imperfection sometimes might be the greatest silent killer. Either it kills you or the people around you. Sampai masa nanti bagi orang yg tak faham kenapa benda ni jadi, benda tu jadi, kau kena adapt juga dengan segala rasa dan sebab. Ini dunia. Even if you stand for your right, you can't guarantee you, yourselves may win.

I don't know how some people can sleep for few days. I don't get their reasons. But mine, it's just the feelings of exhausted, fucking tired and regretful. You just want to bleach them away. You can't stand w reality anymore. It's just too tricky for someone who particularly naive like you. I used to forgive people easily. Said they were forgiven as I wish God and all the human beings would accept my apologies in turn. But sometimes I lost the sincerity too..

Forgiveness isn't something you can play by saying "I forgive you" or "apologies accepted". It's obviously useless to take those words if then you plan to screw everything by listing one's past deeds. I am all lost. It even hurts more when people can change like a girl change her profile picture. (LOL). It's something like, you love me but you sometimes flirt w other bitches too, you know what kind am I but you sometimes pretend like you don't, you know how often can I get jealous for even the simplest things in this dramatic world, but still.. you refuse to take care of my fragile heart.

You can just be my savior today and my breaker tomorrow.
It hurts me now and then...

-- I am all frustrated to find you more frustrated than I am as it's all about your frustration and none of mine.
And after all this time, I'm still into you.

Well, I can say thousands of words here and there. It's ironic as I don't have any specific listener to my boring stories. And by the end of the day, I found all I did was talking to myself. As people tend to hurt more rather than fix their wrongdoings. I guess it's because they never see their love ones walking away from them and never come back. Or maybe I will never have someone who afraid of losing me so I let every things and people hurt me easily.

"Tak ku hiraukan panas mentari lagi 
Demi cinta kurela menanti 
Takkan goyang walau badai kan melanda 
Seribu tahun kutetap setia 
Lupakanlah dukamu yang silam 
Hulur tanganmu sambut kasihku 
Mari bersama kita melangkah 
Membina cinta abadi"